Helping your own kids and building kid relationships
© Neighbor Solutions, LLC and Bob Borzotta. All rights reserved.

It often happens that children become involved with neighbor disputes – those involving their peers and those involving adults. Kids are going to be at odds with each other from time to time – neighborhood bullies need to be dealt with, but there’s sufficient helpful material out in the marketplace so I don’t need to bog down our prevailing subject matter with the bullying subject.

When your kids are impacted by the adult neighbor conflict you’re dealing with, it can damage their self-esteem and have other negative effects.

Most important for their well-being, are two points:

  • Teach your kids to be good, respectful neighbors. They should learn to say hello to adult neighbors, ask permission to enter a neighbor’s yard to retrieve a wayward ball or toy, and to avoid causing neighbors problems.
  • Kids impacted by adult conflicts in the community need positive outlets to deal with the stress. You may not see it, but kids can become highly distressed when an adult neighbor isn’t nice to them, or they witness our conflict and its effects on us. Lots of play and physical activity are important for younger kids. For pre-teens and teens who are harassed by an adult neighbor, I recommend self-defense training classes, karate or some similar activity to rebuild their self-esteem.

    We as adults must be aware that kids in our neighborhoods are highly impressionable and can be easily affected by how we treat them. Get to know them by name, say hello, smile at them, and buy from their lemonade stands and door-to-door school sales. When a kid does knock on the door to request permission to get his ball, smile and say yes. Consider telling him or her that he can always get it without asking each time.

    They’re not adult neighbors yet. They don’t know the realities of neighbor conflict. Try to keep it that way.